You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
