as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
