i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
