Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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