id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
