I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
