she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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