I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Do vagina's smell?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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