I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
