Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
