Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
