They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
