if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
