They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
