i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
