return my video game
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
do nipples grow back?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
