I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
this is an emotional support booty call
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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