thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
