What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
