Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
