I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
