At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
