do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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