Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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