Porn is love you can see.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
