Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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