That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
