I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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