just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
