I wannas sexs uuuuu
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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