So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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