hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
