I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
