Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
