the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
