would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
