why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
