so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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