If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
thus making me awesome and them whores
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
