she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
