She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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