I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
