Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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