She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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