Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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