i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
