Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
