The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
only you would photoshop your dick
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
