At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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