matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
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