I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
