I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
